Quitting

I quit. I've probably raced in 20 races and been dropped in about half, but I've always finished, even if it's in dead last place. Finishing for finishing's sake. Not Saturday. I quit. I gave up. There were nine of us, I was obviously the weakest, and I didn't feel like riding another lap by myself, so I quit. Turned around, rode back to my friends' apartment where I was staying.

Then watched Breach, and there's a scene where an FBI agent under much pressure asks himself, "Should I quit?" Got me thinking about giving up. You pour your heart and soul into something, or on the other end of the spectrum, you half-assedly saunter into something and, in both cases, you ultimately decide it isn't worth your while, for whatever reason, to go on. Sometimes it's the logical thing to do, as I feel it was in my bike race. Sometimes it's fear. Maybe the reason I've pretty well given up writing is because I fear failure, so I'd rather just quit and not do it than write something shitty, like a blog called Taco Mail, and have someone tell me my writing sucks. Or you try so desperately hard to obtain something and you continually get shot down, and eventually some "it" (or many "its") takes its toll on you and you crack.

Part of me wishes I just finished the race. In last place. Two minutes behind everybody. But I didn't. A toll is being taken, and I'm slowly giving up. But that's other stuff. And this is bike racing. And it's only March.

What... the... blog

The beauty of the blog. Where modest writer-types can pour their hearts out as if no one's looking, when really all they want is for that friend that they're obviously referring to in the post to read it and somehow react.

So yeah, I done got me a blog.

I'll probably just end up talking about bike races and music on this thing. The two biggies at this point in my life. And I plan on pouring my heart out about girls. Lots of tears, lots of fascinating love-talk from a 24-year-old who feels sorry for himself. Wait, am I joking and being sarcastic or was that an actual attempt to...?

I'll leave you with a "we suck," culled from the clever mind of an Amusement editor emeritus: Scatological to the Miami Student's logical.